What to think when your hubby says..... get a job!?

really long. so, so sorry. please read...so details....I am 33. have kids aged 17, 10 and 3. I worked from the time I was 16 until agd 33. when I had my first two kids, I went back to work when they were 6 weeks old. One of the jobs I had from the time I was 18 until I was 31. so I am not lazy or irresponsible. my hubby and I had two boys first, and when I was 32, we decided to shoot for a girl before I got too old. three miscarriages and a healthy pregnancy later, we got our girl. To be clear, before we talked about having a 3rd, I made it very clear that I didnt want to have another baby to put in daycare as a newborn and that I would stay home with her until kindergarten. he was more than happy with this and we financially prepared. I home school our 17 year old son and have done so for 17 months (online school because of past poor grades) so I have to get him up every day, make sure he does school, have taken him to all but maybe two of his midterms and finals (outside the home to test) and of course deal with his little mouth/discipline because my hubby works alot and is not very involved with the day to day stuff with the kids. Now granted. my hubby is a very hard worker. works crazy long hours. never complains but does get very cranky. I guess thats expected. anyways....so you know... I cook, do 90% of all the cleaning, laundry. help with homework. keep our daughters room clean. stay on the boys about their room. take care of all the details in life, ie appointments, school stuff. give the kids rides to friends, football. clean all the boy pee off the toilets...yard work.. of course when the kids were little I did alot of the diaparing and feeding, but the hubby did help. hubby works.. I pay all the bills. keep things in line. on top of that, I am nearly the only one that feeds and waters the dog, gives him his 2x daily thyroid meds, bathes him, etc. I try my best to do it all. and I am ok with it because the hubby works hard. I do however expect him to help when he is off (he works one week on, 12 hour shifts, and one week off) with kids and a little housework. nothing major. I also expect him to make sure the kids respect my efforts and roll as a stay at home mom/housewife, but he does poorly at this. so.... tonight, I made dinner... a new recipe that took a while to prepare, everyone just ate, laid their plates on the counter and did their thing. no thanks, not clean up. nothing. so I said out loud. "this is why I hate cooking." and hubby said, "well I hate going to work everyday". It pissed me off because I dont expect him to help cook or clean after work, but a thanks would be nice and for him to have my kids appreciate me by telling them to help clean or say thanks, would be nice. my kids could give two shits if I clean or cook and thats mainly because the hubby never says, hey, your mom just cleaned all day. pick up your crap. or help with dishes. so basically, the boys think I am a maid. So, I called my hubby on it tonight and he yelled at me for about the 5th time, "Go get a job!" I said"you and the kids are my job". It made me feel that everything I do is nothing. pointless. unappreciated. one time he sent me a text message that said, "go **** yourself. why dont you and Dillan go get a job and support yourselves." It hurts a lot. We agreed to me being a stay at home mom and I think I am a pretty good one. Very involved. Teach our daughter the things preschool would. I am proud of what I do, but I feel like crap. As before, the hubby says sorry for his comment. but if someone says it that many times, #1, they must mean it.#2 they must not think that the other persons role is as important as theirs. Isnt there more to being a parent than just bringing home the bacon? I want to stay home with the kids for another two years, but am starting to feel like a loser. and by the way. we are not suffering financially. we do ok without my income. so what do you think?